Tinder, we meet again

Soooo it’s been awhile! I was trying to update this blog at least twice a week, but then June was so crazy with traveling (Miami and Vegas in the span of 8 days), family events, an insane work schedule and of course, issues in my love life. The beginning of the month seemed so incredibly promising with TBM, since he was finally done with his LLM and had a little bit more time. He was still not sure if he would be returning to Los Angeles or staying in DC, but told me that whatever he decided to do, he hoped that we could continue dating. This was surprising to me, since I assumed I was so much more into him than he was into me, but gave me a high that lasted at least three weeks. Halfway into June however, I was still feeling unsure about our status. It seemed like he was still being as flaky with me as he had been while he was in law school. He was still unresponsive to my texts (seriously though, 16 hours between texts? Who has time for that??), only made plans with me on his time, and in the span of four months, never once stepped into my apartment. This made me wonder if he genuinely cared if I was even around or not. I finally talked to him about my feelings, and explained that I needed more from someone that I was dating exclusively, and after apologizing for being selfish the past few months, he promised me that he would make me more of a priority in his life. I was surprised by the conflict resolution, and was back to feeling insanely excited to be with someone I considered so incredible. Unfortunately, absolutely nothing changed after this talk and I realized that allowing someone to continue this way was just reinforcing to myself that it is acceptable to be treated like afterthought. After months of always being available to someone who did not treat my time with the same respect, I was beginning to feel a little pathetic and inferior. If I want someone so badly all of the time, it is almost heartbreaking to constantly feel like I have absolutely no security with them. It just got to the point where I was driving myself crazy hoping that he would just put even an ounce of effort. But with TBM, there would always be some excuse for him to not put effort into our relationship, and I did not want to be continuously let down. I could name 234908 reasons for me to doubt myself, and I do not really want to give someone the power to push my confidence down even further. So after a brief conversation, we ended things and I rejoined the Tinder world.

But now I am wondering, while I was off of Tinder, did it suddenly become an app for people with Asperger’s?IMG_3492


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